


I Cry When I Think About Home

by Psychicsniper



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Dark Crack, Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Infant Death, Miscarriage, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Surgery, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychicsniper/pseuds/Psychicsniper
Summary: Gralea, capital city of the Empire of Niflheim, home to hundreds of thousands of people, each with lives just as complex and beautiful as the next. As daylight starts to fade from the world, the dark streets and alleys begin to harbor a new, dangerous threat, that aims to extinguish all souls in Gralea, leaving little more than letters and scattered bittersweet memories of those complex and beautiful lives behind.





	1. Life Via Gralea Post

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Oh good! I still have your attention! I plan on writing more of these, and each chapter will be something different. For example, this first chapter is focused on letters between two citizens of Gralea, and the next chapter will be about a completely different character and written in a different way. Major characters will be peppered in and around the stories, but this will focus mostly on original characters and their lives in Gralea.
> 
> I want to thank my two beta readers (who I will not mention, unless they WANT to be mentioned), and honestly, my motivations to get this writing done. Without them saying, "Oh for fuck's sake, just fucking write," I honestly never would have written it.

20 January 756

Dear Renae,

 I’ve got great news! I got the job! No more retail for me! I’m a government girl now! Well… government woman. I don’t think ‘girl’ applies when you’re 23. Anyway, all that education paid off for me! I start my new job next week, and I promise to tell you all about it. I really wish we could see each other again soon. Ever since you left 3 years ago, our contact has been relegated to these letters. Which don’t get me wrong, I love sending you letters, but I really wish we could see each other. West Gralea isn’t that far, even if you’re along the fringe. Besides, Lavinia and I are thinking about moving to North Gralea. We’d really like to see our best friend, so if it works out, we’re going to visit you first.

Yours truly,

Anthea

 

2 February 756

Dear An,

OMG! Congratulations!!! I’m so happy for you! Looks like life is falling in to place for you! You’ve got a good job, you’re with Lavinia, and you’re moving in together. Which might I say has been a LONG TIME COMING. I figured you two would be together when you met in high school. You couldn’t keep your eyes off her, and now you’re going to move in together!! That’s WONDERFUL. Let me know when you’re moving to North Gralea, I will be more than happy to sit on your couch while you and Lavinia work your cute little butts off to get moved in. Oh! I’ll bring a pizza! What’s great is that you’re working in the government now… which means you can finally tell Lord Ravus how his biggest fan feels about him. I’ve attached a copy of the letter I got back from his office… I think he already knows how I feel, but at least now I have an in!

Bye bitch :)

Renae

 

16 February 756

Renae,

THAT’S A CEASE AND DESIST LETTER. HE PROBABLY HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOU. No wonder he scowls at me… he must know I know you. Or maybe that’s just how he always looks. I can see why you find him attractive, his cheekbones are so high and... high. And his eyes are very striking... for a guy that is. Oh! Lavinia and I have put a bid on an apartment, and hopefully we’ll get it soon. And you’d better bring more than a pizza, especially since you’re enough of a bitch to not share. I just met Chancellor Izunia today. He seems pleasant, and talkative. I get the feeling that if you let him, he’d talk all day over a cup of tea, and then successfully sell you a bronzed cheeseburger. He's that smooth. You remember my neighbor Vitali, right? He remembers you… apparently he had a huge crush on you when we were young. I can bring him along when Lavinia and I move, so you can see him. He asks about you often, and…. I’ve even gone ahead and given you an addressed and stamped envelope. You should send him a letter.

Love you, miss you,

Anthea

 

28 February 756

An,

IT’S A CEASE AND DESIST LOVE LETTER. AS IN CEASE SENDING THESE LETTERS AND COME GET ME. YOU WILL SEE, I AM WELL KNOWN THERE… FOR BEING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW IT YET. However, due to the fact that Lord Ravus is a busy man, and whoever is replying to the mail is taking so long... I will indeed send our old friend something.

\- Renae

 

10 April 756

Renae,

Are you sure it isn't him who is writing those letters? I mean, yes, he's busy, but surely not too busy to write back to his biggest/weirdest fan. Quick question, did you send an envelope of scraps of dirty paper and to Vitali? What the actual fuck is wrong with you? 

Anthea

 

21 April 756

An,

Yep. You want that list by category or alphabetical? Might be a long ass list. I'm not interested in his ugly ass... Besides, he used to pull my hair when we were kids... he should be happy that scraps of dirty paper is the only thing he got. Mostly because I'm sure sending him a headless pig is REALLY fucking expensive.

\- Renae

 

3 May 756

Renae,

I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have tried to play matchmaker. Please forgive me?

Anthea

 

16 May 756

Anthea,

Of course I forgive you. Its been rough lately... my neighbor's husband went missing three days ago... and it got me to start thinking about everything. Well, here goes. I’m not really sure how to say this, but honestly, I’m not interested in men. I know, I know, I obsess over Lord Ravus, but honestly, he does nothing for me. In fact, if I ever saw him face to face, I’m not even sure what I would say to him. 

I don't think I like men and I’m not even sure I like women. I only liked you. I only told you I liked men so you’d think I had grown up and moved on. You were the only person I ever loved, and I hate my parents for making us move. Do you remember the first time we kissed? And the first time we expressed how we felt? I meant it… I meant it all. I’ve always been envious of you and Lavinia because I wanted you for myself. Hell, I’m still envious of her. The night my parents found out, they said we were moving away, and I knew I had to do something, but I couldn’t do a thing. The one biggest regret I have is moving out, but not moving closer to you. I’m sorry. I know that this might be the end of our friendship… but I’d much rather have you know.

Renae

 

31 May 756

Renae,

I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to make you wait such a long time between letters. It's been a little crazy since the fall of Insomnia. I've been at work nonstop Lavinia and I had a lot to talk and think about. She… wasn’t happy about the letter. I wasn’t going to tell her about it, but it really started to make me think about she and I, and well, you and me. She and I have decided that this isn’t right. Well… rather she made it really easy for me to tell her to leave. She began to berate you, and tell me that I was with her now, and I should never talk to “my ex” ever again. I never wanted you to be my ex. I wanted to grow old with you. I wanted to love you. And I still want all that. She wasn’t happy. We’d been together a year, but I never felt about her the way I feel about you. But I guess it’s true… you shouldn’t stick with a mistake just because you made a long time making it. I’ll have time off in the next few weeks. I already asked for the time off anyway, and was already planning to see you. We got the apartment…. You know what, it’s really not that important. I want to come see you, if that’s okay. I want to talk to you, to see your face, to kiss your lips, run my hands through your hair, make up for all of the time we were apart. Please, let me know if you’re okay with this, and I’ll be on the next transport over. 

Forever yours,

Anthea 

PS: I hope you don’t take this brevity as cruel, but I’ve been the one who has to read your 3 latest letters to Lord Ravus… do you write them in jest? Because I was absolutely dying of laughter. I hope you have enjoyed the last 3 responses… You should be receiving them soon. Your sappy letters to him were the only thing that really helped me get through this week. I nearly fell out of my chair in tears when I read about you asking if Lord Ravus removes his new prosthetic arm to slap people. Thank you.

 

6 June 756

Anthea, Yes. Always and forever, yes. When will you be here?

Love,

Renae

PS: Well... Does he? I need to know. This is some really important information. I can just imagine him plucking his metal arm off and smacking a bunch of the walking trashcans with it when he gets mad at them. OOOOH! I wonder if he hits them hard enough, do they make that satisfying "PING!" like when you hit a baseball with a metal bat? Perhaps he uses it as a fly swatter?! Backscratcher? 

 

12 June 756

Renae,

I sent this by express, because I wanted to make sure it got to you before I left. I should be there by the 14th. I can’t wait to see you!! Hopefully this gets to you before I arrive!

Love,

Anthea

Ps: Honestly, I don't think hitting an MT with another metal object will create the same sound as hitting a baseball with a metal baseball bat. Some of the commanders (Not Lord Ravus) have tempers, and will take it out on the MTs, they sound like metal trashcans getting hit, which... is kinda what they are. As for if Lord Ravus takes off his arm? I'll have to tell you when I see you. I think it's treason to write about such things.

 

 

 

19 June 756

Mum,

Well, sure enough, the letter didn’t arrive before I got here. In fact, I got here just as the letter arrived. I should have listened to you. Anyway, Renae was really surprised! Sorry I didn’t write earlier, but we’ve been busy getting me set up. I found that she isn’t that much farther from work than I was, and…. Well, we’ve decided to see if we can make it work. So… I’ll be moving in. Love you so so so so much mum!

Your daughter,

Anthea

 

25 June 756

Anthea,

Why didn’t you two just call eachother? Is this generation really that thick? Or are you just trying to be romantic? Anyway, I’m glad that you’ve decided to move in together, and I’m very happy for you. I knew I would be getting a letter like this, and I’m very happy you’re happy. BUT: You’d both better come over for holidays. OR ELSE. I hope everything is okay over there. It’s been a little crazy over here, with all the news of Insomnia, and there’s news of people going missing. We heard it started over in West Gralea, so please, be careful. Don’t worry, we’re all okay here. Just please keep yourselves safe.

Love you both, Minerva

PS: CALL ME. I’m not waiting for your letters to find out what you want from your belongings.

 

30 June 756

Mum,

Renae never came home last night, and things are getting really scary over here, especially at night. I’ve told the police here… but they aren’t doing anything. I’ve been panicking all day, and they just told me what the radios are saying…. That everything is under control…. But to stay inside. I hope she’s just quarantined at work. Yeah, that’s probably it. They probably won’t let her leave work. They’ve put us all in quarantine, and told us all to shelter in place. So… I’m not sure if you’ll get this. But Mummy, I just wanted to say I love you. I love you and dad so much, and I hope we will both see you soon, once this quarantine gets lifted. Please be safe. Please do everything to be safe. I know I spoke to you a few days ago, but I just wanted to send you a letter… I know you used to make fun of me for writing letters, even when a phone call would be easier… but you never know when you’ll hear someone’s voice for the last time. You may not remember my voice, but you’ll always have this letter.

I love you mummy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you joioliviapolaroid of Tumblr for the "Does Ravus remove his arms to slap people?" imagine. Because honestly, without it, this would just be a depressing "story".


	2. No Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A survivor of Gralea tells his story of what it was like, and how he survived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @poisonous-panda of Tumblr for being a helpful little panda by helping me with ideas, and for pushing me to continue writing, even when I have no faith in myself.

He sat down in the chair the young woman motioned to, and stared at the camera and sound recording equipment. He looked around at what was most definitely the young woman’s apartment in Lestallum, small, probably rightly so for a young, poor writer. The artwork on the walls was probably her photography, and newspaper clippings were tacked to random parts of the walls. Some of them were about the Lucian Family and the fall of Insomnia, but there were a few others about Gralea. Not much was documented, as Insomnia had already fallen, and the citizens of Gralea were either being killed, or fleeing for their lives, so newspapers weren’t as updated as one would like. Her soft, alto voice tore his mind away from the furnishings, “Thank you, for agreeing to be interviewed, Mr. Adranos.”

“Please,” he said quietly, looking down at his hands for a moment, as if they would somehow give him the ability to speak, “It’s Matthias. Please call me Matthias.”

He lifted his head and met eyes with the young woman. She was short and curvy, with a kind, round face and medium length red hair. She sat down in the chair opposite of the man, who was very different from the interviewer. His tall, muscular frame dwarfed the young woman, even while seated. His buzzed short hair was dark, with a little bit of grey starting to peek in at his temples, normal for a man in his late 40’s to early 50’s. His face had stubble, but he still looked clean and put together, with his nicely cleaned button up shirt, in black to match his black slacks. His eyes were hardened by life and loss, but still shown a brilliant emerald hue.

“Okay, Matthias,” the young woman replied, “ I know we’ll be talking about a tough subject for you… so if you need to take time, please do. Or if there is anything you don’t want to talk about, just please, let me know.”

He nodded slowly. “So…where do we start?” He asked quietly.

“Wherever you want to start. Perhaps we should start with your life in Gralea before the scourge.”

He took a deep breath and steadied himself before finally speaking. “I met my wife, Portia while in medical school. She… she was the smartest, most beautiful woman in my graduating class. I remember asking her out on a date, and the first thing she said was ‘yes, but you must take me to the cat café.’ I laughed, and even though I’m allergic to them, we went to the cat café. Our night ended with me stuffing tissues up my nose, and popping allergy medicine. But she stayed with me. And within 6 months, we were married.”

He smiled at the young woman, “She was tall, with long, blonde hair, that was so soft… she was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful.”

He sighed, as if he knew that was not quite what she meant when she asked to know about his life. He continued more sombrely, “She got her medical degree and specialised in Biomedical Engineering and I got my medical degree, and decided to become a trauma surgeon.”

He went quiet for a moment, “She worked as a researcher in Zegnatus Keep. And I was on call with the Imperial Army, just in case something were to happen to one of the commanders. I think… no, I know now, that the research was why we had trouble…”

He paused for another moment, “Portia and I had problems conceiving. We lost 4 in the first trimester, 2 in the second, 1 in the third, and 1 right after birth. I don’t think you ever get used to it… I mean, I’ve helped other women who had come to my emergency room, but it never prepared me for my own wife. I remember the one that died when she was born… she was… not normal. She wasn’t even blue, she was just… grey. It seemed like she almost wasn’t human. I don’t even think her eyes opened, and there was a lot of black fluid coming from her mouth. She died within an hour.”

He looked down at his hands again and stayed quiet for a moment, the young woman started to speak, “We can stop-”

“No. No. I’m okay,” he replied. “When Portia got pregnant the last time, we decided to have her take time off work thinking it was work stress that was causing the miscarriages… and she did better. In fact, she did great. She gave birth to our daughter, and I think it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She was perfect, my wife recovered well, and we left the hospital a happy, healthy family of three.”

He took a sip of water, in hopes of moistening his throat that had become dry from talking, and from the nervousness. He looked over at the young woman and then back down to his hands, “You’re sure you want to hear this? It… it gets a lot worse.”

She nodded, “Yes. If you’re willing to continue.”

Matthias nodded slowly then after a few moments of silence, he started to speak. “My wife missed a lot of work, and she missed her research, so we hired an au pair, who was excellent with our daughter, Lucretia, and my wife was allowed to take some longer breaks to come home and feed Lucretia. All was going great until Lucretia started to get sick at around 8 months. Portia had started to work longer hours, as Lucretia started eating solid food, and only got breast milk when Portia was home. She started to get really sick, and her eyes started turning black, and she spit up black ooze. Of course, both of us being doctors… we knew we were both out of our league. Now that I think about it… I think that Portia knew exactly what was going on, but couldn’t tell me about it. But I’ll never know. We took her to the hospital, and Lucretia was admitted. I remember staying with her the whole night… until she just stopped breathing at about 4AM. Portia was screaming, crying, begging for her to fight, praying she would stay.”

He stopped again as his eyes started to fill with tears, “I hear her screams in my sleep…”

He completely stopped as he began to sob. The young woman handed him a tissue box and put a hand on his shoulder. He spent a few more minutes trying to gain his composure, and finally with one shaky deep breath he continued. “I remember the doctor saying something about babies and children starting to have problems like what happened to Lucretia, but they couldn’t figure out what it was. And to be honest, I was too much in shock to ask any questions. Portia and I didn’t even truly get a chance to say goodbye. Some men I’d never seen before, but seemed to know Portia took her away. I remember asking her about it, but she said something about them being the undertakers… she said she had called them while I was sleeping, but I don’t remember sleeping at all that night. At the time, I just accepted it. And now that I’ve had almost 20 years to think about it, it seems so odd now.”

He gave the young woman a small smile, “You must think I’m so stupid, to not know what was going on.”

She shook her head, “No, not at all. From what the few survivors have told me, you were given a lot of misinformation. So it’s understandable that you wouldn’t have known.”

Matthias took another sip of water, and then began to speak again, “I still feel stupid, and I think Portia knew what was going on, but just didn’t or couldn’t share. She and I didn’t speak for almost a month or so after Lucretia died. I remember the first thing she said to me after that month of silence. She had been working long hours at the lab, and I had forced myself into my work too. We both couldn’t stand being in our apartment. It was a really nice apartment, upscale, high-rise, with a nice view of the city. But every time I looked around our home, I saw memories of Lucretia. Sitting on the couch, reading to her; Portia laying on the floor with her, showing her pictures and singing to her. I know Portia had those memories too. That’s why I didn’t blame her for forcing herself into her work. The first thing she said to me after Lucretia died… She asked me to hold her. We were lying in bed, and she asked me to hold her. So I did. I missed her so much, and I was thinking, finally, I had gotten the love of my life back.”

He paused for a few moments, “I held her close to my chest, and she rested her forehead against my collarbones, she whispered that she loved me, and I told her I loved her too. And then we both fell asleep. That was the last time I ever saw my wife. The next day, I woke up and she had already left for work. I went to work, and about midday, I got a phone call. The person on the line identified himself as part of the Imperial Research Academy, and there had been an accident… and that Portia was dead. I left work immediately, and I tried to go to her work, but they wouldn’t let me see her… they said it was too dangerous. No one would tell me anything. So after fighting with them for what felt like hours, I was “escorted” away from the doors to the lab. And by that I mean, I was dragged away kicking and screaming by two, perhaps three MTs and thrown into a holding cell. They didn’t tell me what I was charged with… disrupting the peace, I’m sure, but while I was sitting in what I assumed would be my new home, the Chancellor appeared. His concern was most definitely… fake? I don’t even know if fake is the right word. He told me that a rogue MT had attacked her. I told him I didn’t even know those things could go rogue… He assured me that they indeed could, and that they kill mercilessly. He even stated that he was sorry for my loss, and that Portia ‘probably’ felt no pain… even though her body didn’t show it. I asked to see her, and he told me that there wasn’t much left of her… the rogue MT destroyed her body, ‘literally tore her apart.’ He then told me that this specific reason was why her work was so important… and that I needed to let the research team access her files on her home computer to make sure nothing was missed, so no one else’s significant other would have to die. The tone in his voice made it pretty clear that it wasn’t really a request… and if I were to refuse, I’d meet the same fate as my wife. For a moment there I contemplated it. Being dead would be better than being alone in my apartment full of bittersweet memories. But I knew that Portia wouldn’t have wanted that. So I agreed. He let me out of my cell, and put me into the custody of a few researchers, and a few armed MTs and sent me on my way.”

“What did they take?” the young woman asked.

“Everything. Both of our computers, photos of Lucretia, pretty much anything paper. I think the only thing they left was this photo.”

He pulled from his jacket pocket an old, tattered photograph of a younger, less muscular version of himself with his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a blonde, classically beautiful young woman with bright blue eyes and a brilliant, happy, perfect smile. “That was Portia. And that was all I had left of her… or so I thought.”

The young woman smiled at the photo of the happy couple, then immediately stopped when she heard his last phrase, “What do you mean?”

He pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket, “They missed something… and honestly, it was only through going through things a month or so after she died, that I found it. The writing is fading, thanks to Lestallum’s heat, but I’ll give you an idea of what it said. She said that if I was reading this, she was most likely dead and that she loved Lucretia and me. She wanted me to know that she was keeping a secret from me. At first, I didn’t want to know… but I felt that if she took the time to write this, and hide it inside a freezer, she wanted me to know. Before she and I got married, she had been given the opportunity to help with research in another way… She, thinking that she would never get married or have children, donated one of her ovaries to the Imperial Research Academy. She knew something was off at the lab. Everyone was too compartmentalized. Nobody was allowed to talk about what they were doing, and every person had one, single job. Like they were purposefully making the researchers unaware of exactly what they were doing. She wasn’t sure if that procedure was what made it difficult for her to carry a child, but she was sorry nonetheless, and regrets not telling me face to face. The day after I found it, Insomnia fell. And I got my call from the Imperial Army. I was to pack only what was necessary in an easy to carry fashion, and I was to head to Tenebrae, to tend to Lord Ravus, who had been injured in the fall of Insomnia.”

He took another sip of water and looked over at the fan beside the young woman, without him even needing to ask, she turned the fan on. “Thank you,” he said before continuing on with his story.

“So I packed clothes, a few survival things, just in case, and a knife. I packed my photos and the letter, and any other small things I felt absolutely necessary to take with me, like Portia’s wedding ring, which was oddly enough, hadn’t been worn since she was pregnant with Lucretia, and her fingers has become swollen. I packed it all into a backpack, and left. I honestly, knew that the letter was something important, and that something was fishy about the lab… so I made my decision. I’d sneak out of Tenebrae and go somewhere, anywhere. I’d get lost in the thousands of refugees coming from Insomnia, and I’d make a new life for myself. Because I knew, somewhere deep in my brain, that if I stayed home, I would die. I’d either kill myself, or Chancellor Izunia would be standing over my body shrugging nonchalantly as if to say, ‘Gee, I couldn’t possibly know what happened to him.’ It was a no-brainer.”

“So how did you escape?” The young woman asked, clearly intrigued.

“I arrived at the rendezvous point, and was asked to go through all the medical supplies to make sure I had what I would need. They didn’t really explain what happened to Lord Ravus, and they just said to expect the worst. Once I was sure we had everything, including a few extra of things… especially the ones that were small enough to fit into my backpack while no one was watching, I was herded onto a troop transport train and taken to Tenebrae. I was told that he was hemodynamically unstable, but not in the usual way. His blood pressure was high, and despite all medical intervention, medics at Tenebrae couldn’t determine why… probably because they were given no information. But he most certainly would not have survived the travel through the Ghorovas Rift. The cold would down any low-flying aircraft, and he might have a stroke if they flew high enough to take him straight into Gralea, like most transport did. So he was going to have to wait for the train. When I arrived, I didn’t even need to be escorted to his room. I could hear his agonizing screams. No amount of the best pain medicine in the entirety of Eos could have made him stop. His arm was burned, far worse than I had ever seen anywhere in Gralea, and no matter how much we did to try and stop the burn it never stopped. I didn’t think there was anything I could do to help him. But I could get him stable enough and out of pain enough to get him back to Gralea, where they could get him a prosthetic arm. So we finally were able to give him enough sedative to make him sleep, though he fought us the entire time until he finally passed out. He even damn near threw a nurse across the room, while having enough sedative in his system to take down a man four times his size. With him finally unconscious, we began to remove his damaged arm. It was surreal, doing a surgery in a beautiful room like the one he was in. It wasn’t sterile and lit by florescent lighting, it was lit by natural light with beautiful painting on the walls, not that I was able to enjoy them while removing his arm. But it was quite beautiful… I had never seen anything like it before.”

He stopped, perhaps realizing how blasé he had been about amputating the arm of a 28 year old. A man who was only a few years younger than him at the time, and had more battle scars. He immediately changed his tone from appreciative of the artwork, to lamenting the loss of the young man’s arm, “He… had a horrifying burn. It was full thickness, and on all sides of his arm. There was barely enough healthy tissue to close the incision after we removed the arm. But it was odd. The layers of skin were sloughing off, but it was weird, usually when skin is sloughing off like his, it’s room temperature because there is no blood supply, but his… his was hot, and it bled. Once we removed the arm, and got him bandaged and cleaned up, I requested that we stay in Tenebrae one more night, to be sure his body would handle the removal of the limb well enough to be transported. It was approved, and well… I slipped out to ‘have a cigarette’ at 3 AM…with my backpack on. One of the nurses said to be careful, because there might be daemons outside. And… Well, I frankly didn’t give a shit. What I did think was odd, was that I didn’t see any MTs outside of the manor. However… there was a daemon… that had popped up out of the shadows. To use the vernacular of the young kids these days, ‘I noped the fuck out of there’, and ran faster than I think I have ever run in my entire life.”

The young woman who was looking rather sad immediately started to giggle. “What?” He asked, “Did I use it wrong?”

“No, no, you used it right, I just have never heard someone over the age of 30 use it before.”

He smiled, “Look here, little lady, back then I was strong, but not ‘fight a daemon’ strong.”

She smiled at him, “But you are now… So how did you get here?”

He took another sip of water, “Well. After running away from the daemon that in retrospect probably was just a figment of my imagination, I hopped onto the train going outbound toward anywhere but Gralea. And subsequently got caught at a blockade. Apparently I had deserted, even though I was an on call physician… and in retrospect, it was probably in that contract I signed that I wouldn’t leave, but no contract was about to stop me from never setting foot in my apartment again. I got shot in the leg by an MT, who was quite irate that I defied orders from one of the commanders… The young, annoying one…”

“Loqi Tummelt,” she offered.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Damn he was annoying. I remember one time when he got his—Never mind. That’s not really pertinent. He was a jerk, and he deserved the scar. Anyway, he remembered me and ordered the MT to shoot, and he did… he got me good, almost nicked my femoral artery. I for sure would have been dead if they weren’t terrible shots. I was saved by this hunter named Dave, and he took me to he hunter HQ. They got me all fixed up, with more than a little direction from me. I decided to work for the hunters as a physician, because I thought at the time that they really could use the help. I ended up meeting Cor the Immortal. Whose prowess was absolutely lost on me, but he clearly didn’t care about that. Have you interviewed him?”

“No, he turned me down. He didn’t want to relive those days. He said he was too old to be going over war stories.”

“I don’t blame him… He’s probably in his late 60’s now.”

She quickly changed the subject “So, how did you get to Lestallum?”

“During the decade or so of darkness, I ended up taking shelter here in Lestallum. I would go out with the hunters sometimes, if it was needed, but I’d also help around the city. There were a ton of refugees from Gralea, Altissia, and Insomnia, so it was a breeding ground for infectious disease here. But; with help from the hunters and a few other doctors, we managed to get everyone healthy.”

“So what keeps you here?”

“It’s become my home… I hate the heat, and well… the food can be a little too spicy for my tastes, but it’s home. But I’ve already had to give up one home… and I don’t want to give up another.”

“Have you remarried?”

He sighs, “No. I tried to be in another relationship… but it hurts too much. People just don’t understand how hard it is to have loved and lost so much… it sometimes just doesn’t go away. So, I just work and help take care of the next generation… that’s my contribution.”

“Any regrets?”

“Some mornings, no, other mornings, yes. I turned my back on my people and ran away. All those people died, and I didn’t, so I guess you could call is survivor’s guilt… but what could I have done? Gralea created a generation that did not have to be hardened by war, because we could send MTs to fight for us. I could never have been like Prince Noctis, who saved the world, or like Cor, Gladiolus, Prompto, Ignis, and Iris, who have saved many lives since then. I can only hope that the things I do now redeem my soul enough so I can see my girls again.”

She smiled weakly at him, “I really am sorry for your loss, Matthias. And I hope that you get to see them someday. Thank you again for meeting with me.”

He nodded slowly, “Thank you. It’s been kind of … cathartic for me. I’ve never really gotten the chance to speak about this with anyone.”

She handed him the letter she had placed on the table ever since he gave it to her. He shook his head and stood up, “No. Please. Keep it. Keep it and put it in your museum or your archive. We might never really know what happened there, or what went wrong… and we may never be able to put all the pieces of the puzzle together while I’m still alive. But that letter will mean something to someone, and I hope it brings him or her solace. I do however; need to bring that picture back home with me. I’m getting old, and I want something to be able to remind me what happiness looked like, because while Prince Noctis brought the sun back, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the world as bright as I did when I saw it with her.”

She handed him the picture and thanked him again as he made his way out of the apartment. She then turned to the camera, which had been recording the whole exchange and with tears in her eyes, turned it off.


End file.
